If you're not a bot, you'll NEVER get any decent games hosted. They're just too good for you.
Face it: Bots have taken over. Host private, or not at all.
OH, and the current craze is DotA, so don't host public if that's all that works. It just isn't worth it.
When someone calls you a noob, reply thusly:
Everyone was a noob at one point, but only an idiot would think it a bad thing.